I have been using rubymine for many years with great success. My setup is a linux VM with the running rails app with the source dir sshfs mounted in from my laptop. On the VM I run the rdebug-ide command and then use the remote debug in rubymine. This works, the rails app starts up and breakpoints work. What doesn't work is that ending the debug session from rubymine (red square icon) does not kill the process on the remote VM. In addition, code changes in rubymine, which in the past would cause the rails app to refresh from source, cause the rails app to become unresponsive to requests.
Of note, I am seeing this in rubymine when I load the project: "Limited Debugging Info: Please select relevant remote Ruby SDK for full debugging info". I am not sure how to correct this as I have chosen one from the list. Could this be related?