Hi, I am a long time user of Intellij and generally find performance good on my laptop (Core i7, 8Gb RAM, SSD). Am running 13.1.3.
I've excluded bower_components and node_modules from the project, so they don't appear in the Project window. This doesn't seem to help.
I have "On frame deactivation" set to "Update resources", which is how I like to work.