IDEATalk has strange behavior on LAN

I'm not even sure how to explain exactly what we're seeing... but I'll try... My partner and I tried to set up IDEATalk for the first time today (build 7757) and it found the other guy by default using some kind of LAN broadcast/discovery thingy, I assume... but when we set everything up to use our internal jabber server we were only getting one-way communication from my partner to me, and all my messages were seemingly lost. That is, until he attempted to delete me from the list, at which time all my messages showed up at once... including requests to view open files. and i was not deleted from the list.

I don't have time to nail down the exact behavior here... but perhaps this is enough to get started. Even when things seem to be "working" the message do not show up in a timely manner... it seems like it's a pretty unreliable tool from what we have seen so far. I'm hoping this is just complete misconfiguration on my part.

has anyone seen this behavior or something like it before? any advice?

also, I don't see a way to disable the LAN auto-discovery stuff... always using the jabber server would be the preferred setting for us.

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