All of my JetBrains IDEs regularly take several seconds or longer to load, on an extremely fast machine

I regularly use Rider, WebStorm, PyCharm, and DataGrip on Windows, and they take *forever* to load. I have a 32 core ThreadRipper CPU with 128 GB RAM, a fast SSD drive, and 2 Nvidia GeForce RTX Titanium 2080 with 11 GB each. There's just nothing on this machine that should be slow. I've also tried upping the memory limits in the .exe.vmoptions files as well.

I'll provide whatever snapshots or metrics you need to figure out what's going on. When I watch the processes as they load, It does seem like subsequent loads are faster for an application after the first time it loads. Also, check out the hard faults:

Here are my vmoptions:

-Xms512m
-Xmx4096m
-XX:ReservedCodeCacheSize=800m
-XX:+UseConcMarkSweepGC
-XX:SoftRefLRUPolicyMSPerMB=250
-ea
-XX:CICompilerCount=2
-Dsun.io.useCanonPrefixCache=false
-Djava.net.preferIPv4Stack=true
-Djdk.http.auth.tunneling.disabledSchemes=""
-XX:+HeapDumpOnOutOfMemoryError
-XX:-OmitStackTraceInFastThrow
-Djdk.attach.allowAttachSelf