Unusable SFTP, connecting...

 Hi, I am using PhpStorm-162.2380.11 on a debian desktop and i am trying to upload files to a ubuntu server with key pair auth however i cant even connect to the server, when i click on test sftp connection in Settings | Deployment a winow opens with a progress bar and "Connecting by SFTP" text and just stays there forever.

when i try to upload individual files via the project window | right click | deployment | upload.. it also says connectiong on the bottom and nothing happens, what makes this even more a pain in the ass is that apperently you can not cancle an upload when it is in the "connecting" phase.

This happend a few times in the past when sftp was very slow and always took a few minutes however since today ( updated phpstorm version a few days ago ) i can not connect at all.

my internet connection is very stable with > 200 Mbps, server is hosted in ec2 and is a standard ubuntu setup with the keys configured by amazon, i never changed a ssh config on this server, i can normally to the instance over ssh from a terminal window.